Tag: saturday satire

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Saturday Superhero Satire – Tier List of Tier Lists

It’s been a bit but here’s a new Saturday morning cereal eating article. There’s been a lot of chatter about hero tier lists recently. Who’s in a tier of their own casting spells with ease? Who stinks like yesterday’s She-Hulk? Well, I’ve digested it all and today I bring you a tier-list of tier-lists. Which tier list is best? What are their faults and strengths find out now! Lots of creators have made tier lists, power rankings, and other ways to evaluate and survey heroes – lets sort them out into their tiers below. I judge these rankings by a very fair and proprietary criteria – you’ll probably see what it is – there may be… a trend. (Disclaimer: All of these creator’s are super awesome and put a ton of effort into their actual content. Check them out and give them some love – I know I love reading/listening and digesting their rankings every time they update!)

S+ Tier

No one – you’ll see the reasoning soon. It may have to do with how lowly everyone places a certain archer…

S Tier

Side Scheme Tier List by BananaCrapshoot

This tier list is definitely next-level thinking. Banana does a great job fostering discussion and updating his tier list constantly. The list includes many factors including: theme, power-level, fun-factor and many more topics! I love that the hero is evaluated in a holistic. Two cons that I should mention. First and foremost – Banana lists Hawkeye as B-tier which is just disgusting and not true. For this face alone – the Side Scheme tier list can’t be taken too seriously and thus is not in the coveted S+ tier. Secondly – while it’s really neat that many factors are considered it’s hard to know what the algorithm is behind combining these factors or if it’s just a gut-feel looking at these categories.

A Tier

The Dice Tower with Roy Cannaday

Roy has a great youtube video linked above overviewing his views on the Top 10 heroes in Marvel Champions. Roy is always engaging and fun and truly loves the game. I like that the video spends a bit of time on each hero explaining the thoughts on each hero. I really liked the beginning starting with Hulk and Ms. Marvel near the bottom – finally we reached #1 and foun the reason this top ten can’t be ranked higher: Hawkeye is completely absent. Despite this I think the top ten is really high quality and offers great insight. Just don’t be leavin’ Clint off next update? Mmmkay?

Community Definitive Rankings by JediGeekGirl

Wow. This list is really neat. While note a tier list per se – it’s the results of a survey showing where the community ranked heroes from October 2020 (about a month after Red Skull came out). Thankfully Hawkeye is in the top ten here but still is ranked 9th. We can’t blame JediGeekGirl for this – the blame falls fully on the community. C’mon people – vote Hawkeye or don’t vote. Not jokingly – this is a really cool resource and the bottom of the article mentions it is to be updated again after the release of Galaxy’s Most Wanted! Be sure to get out and vote early (but only for Hawkeye) ➡

Dice vs. Cards Solo / Multiplayer Tierlists

Dice vs Cards does something really interesting. They split the tierlist into two lists: one for solo & one for multiplayer. I really love this idea as some heroes may struggle in solo but shine when specialized in multiplayer or vice versa. In fact this really made me think these lists would be top tier S+. Sadly both lists put Hawkeye in the D-tier. At this point I really question peoples judgement. While I understand Hawkeye being in the same tier as the hulks (they are three of my favorites) I don’t understand the bottom of the barrel ranking. The team does give good reasoning for their rankings so it’s worth a watch!

Marvel Champions FTW! by Xplode

This power ranking is in audio podcast format. Xplode does a good job in solomode talking about the heroes he sees hit the “virtual table”. This seems to be more of an anecdotal popularity list which forces it to be a bit more leaning towards newer characters. It’s really fun to hear about what characters people are playing – and what way the meta evolves as new packs are spoiled and released.

B Tier

We needed to add this tier to show the gap before the basement losers.

C Tier

Marvel Champions Monthly Tiers or Tears

Geez – who are these scrubs? This is a tierlist that’s 9 months out of date. What the heck? Why does this even exist? Back when these newbs made this list it was picking the best aspect for each hero and then placing them in a tier grouping. This list is C-tier. Hawkeye wasn’t even released yet. But that’s no excuse… he should obviously be A-tier or higher… maybe they’ll have to make another shot at a tierboard episode again…. MAAAAAAAYYYYBE

Conclusions

Well – that’s it for today folks. The rankings / tiers / and content above are all top notch (except that last one). While you may not agree with any of the above lists they all serve a great purpose in the community – fostering discussion and talking about the great heroes in a game we all love. What is your favorite way to rank heroes? If we get sent some new spicey lists we’ll be sure to add them to our rankings in our next Tier List of Tier Lists and remember #VoteForHawkeye

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Saturday Superhero Satire: Artful Ally Choices

KennedyHawk:  Howdy heroes! Another Saturday – time for another seriously essential topic. Basic allies! Some of the best allies in the game fall into the basic category – but let’s discuss the thing that truly makes them shine. Their art. Instead of power rankings like last week we’ll be putting each ally into a tier based on it’s artwork. From S-tier (always include this ally – the art is so amazeballs) to F-tier (who drew this?). We might even have some insights about the cards along they way – who knows? Not me – that’s for sure.

Amerikano: I like looking at art, but I’m no good at making it. And I’m much more upfront about that than KennedyHawk. 

KennedyHawk: I’m a skilled artist – so I’m totally qualified for judging this – just look at my stick figure drawings in this article (they aren’t real). Onto the first card: Mockingbird!

Mockingbird from The Amazing Spiderman #4 (2015)

KennedyHawk: For me Mockingbird falls into the B-tier. Nothing stellar – yet nothing holding it back. The art doesn’t scream stun effect to me – but she is probably my most played card of all time so I have to give her credit. No layering shenanigans to point out – just an efficient card – with efficient – er reasonable art. Really the most thematic art would be Mockingbird stunning Rhino in one panel – cut to Mockingbird taking a Stampede to the face.

Amerikano: C tier. I’m with you on this one. I’m not sure why this piece was chosen. It doesn’t scream stun. In fact, there’s nothing really stunning about it at all.

Nick Fury also from The Amazing Spiderman #4 (2015)

Amerikano: F. The art is so confusing. I dislike that Fury is not the main focus of the card art. Zoom in on that patch!

KennedyHawk: D-tier – possibly F. This art befuddled me for a long time. What a strange shot of Nick Fury to use. For a while I was trying to figure out why he was floating in clouds. Then I realized it’s like a 3D map as the details-out the mission. Nick Fury sees a lot of action and deserves a more action-filled pose.I’m so glad we agree here – now if only you understood the evils of vegetables.

Lockjaw original art by Bryndon Everett

KennedyHawk: S-Tier. Unless there is something higher. This good dogo has amazing and terrifying art. I can literally wipe the dog slobber off my face when I look at this card. Some nice use of layers with Lockjaw’s forehead cutlery and the butterfly he is chasing is just totes adorb. I also like that he’s hopping out of a portal- they nailed the theme on Lockjaw both mechanically and in his art. Good puppers!

Amerikano: A tier. It looks like he’s been competing in an otherworldly dog show and one of the loops that he needed to jump through was a portal. Oh, and his cheeks are turning into parachutes. Amazing.

Heimdall also original art by Bryndon Everett

Amerikano: S tier. The glow in his eye and the pose really portray the theme of the card and Heimdall’s role as gatekeeper. Simply amazing. 

KennedyHawk: I give Heimdall an A-tier rating. Above Mockingbird but below Lockjaw. These two allies have some of the coolest art. I really like the flashing glow in Heimdall’s eye as he’s peering into the encounter deck. Flavor text to match – rarely do I get to appreciate flavor text here…

War Machine from Invincible Iron Man #32(2008)

KennedyHawk: Back to art straight from the comics – thanks to the #card-art channel on the discord for finding this one. I’m saying C-tier this time. Slightly lower than Mockingbird. Doesn’t match his card theme much at all – unless toughness is going to fend off all that ping damage I see behind him.

Amerikano: A tier. I don’t care if the card theme doesn’t shine through with the art. I really like it. The only thing that would have been better is the panel of War Machine just below this one on the same page of the comic. But don’t you just feel like you could take on a team of Hammer drones after playing War Machine? Go find that issue. It has some amazing art.

Iron Heart from Iron Heart vol 1 #1 2019

Amerikano: C tier. Amazing card. Meh art. Nothing special at all. Why not heart shape with her hands? Saving that for the art on Ironheart’s hero card? We can only hope.

KennedyHawk: Let’s be real. This card is an S-tier powerwise. Dump her on the board, draw and chump – is much better than just Dump and Chump. Her art isn’t horrible either. I’m going with the Mockingbird B-tier – no really logical sense with the cards theme – but cool layering and a nice action pose with nothing bothersome in the background unlike Nick.

Spider-Man from Miles Morales – Spider-Man #1

KennedyHawk: Spider-man – Spider-man – does whatever hero Spider-man can’t! Miles Morales is one of my favorite basic allies and his art does not disappoint. His ability to burst thwart is awesome and lowkey he can be a slow extended swinging webkick just like his art highlights!

Amerikano: A tier. The only thing I don’t like about this art is how shiny his suit seems to be. Why? I love it when the art comes in front of the card name banner. It really makes Miles’s foot pop!

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KennedyHawk: There you have it. We have a tier list of basic allies by art. If that’s not something you were looking forward too – well then I’m not sure why you are still reading this. I love the basic allies in this game – they make it into so many decks and I’m glad most of them have good art (not you Nick – not you!)

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Saturday Superhero Satire: Heroic Headgear Power Rankings

KennedyHawk:  Howdy heroes! KennedyHawk and Amerikano here from the MCM podcast to talk about a very serious topic. For the foreseeable future we want to bring some brightness to your Saturday morning. The kids are watching cartoons and you need something to occupy your time. Welcome Saturday Superhero Satire where we write a short post about fresh frivolous topics in the realm of Marvel Champions. For this introductory insight we’ll be talking about a highly debated topic. Power Rankings! Everyone loves a good tier list and to debate who’s worst and who’s best. Without further ado let’s present are Power Rankings for Heroic Headgear.

Amerikano: Let’s keep these nice and short, shall we? Because, let’s be real, Saturday morning cartoons don’t exist anymore and YouTube can only hold your kid’s attention for so long.

KennedyHawk: Let’s go from first to worst. The Ultron-like robot that determines how long people read out articles says that most people have already stopped!.

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1st Place:

Ant-Man’s Helmet (KennedyHawk)

Ant-Man’s Helmet (Amerikano)

KennedyHawk: If it ain’t broke don’t fix it. I love pym particles! What I like better is getting the reward of Pym Particles without spending a resource using a permen-ANT on the field. Ant-Man’s helmet is a straight up legend. My favorite part is it’s casual use as a bookend. You would think a hero wouldn’t need more of what they are good at – but in ant man’s case it’s pretty import-ANT. Anyway I’m gettin’ kind of ANT-sy what say you Amerikano?

Amerikano: Wow. Uh, this is the only helmet in the game that I will play no matter the cost. Period. I don’t have any puns, though. Was I supposed to come up with puns?

KennedyHawk: Don’t have any puns – or cAN’T make them? I’ll be here all morning.

Americano: (e_e)

2nd Place

Mark V Helmet (KennedyHawk)

Thor’s Helmet (Amerikano)

Amerikano: A fair cost (2) for +5 hit points is not too expensive for Thor. This gives you a bit of much needed breathing room to set up your board state. Also, playing it gets rid of a pesky science resource from my deck. I want all the lightnings. And those wings(?) though!

KennedyHawk: You know what really makes me sweat as Iron Man? Threat! How does Tony handle it. Certainly not a base 2 thwart and an in kit ready every turn. Regardless the Mark V Helmet offers Iron Man a lot of pluses, well hand size plus per turn to be more specific. How a helmet removes threat from many places at the same time is still a mystery to me. One I’m sure I could solve if I was Tony Stark.

3rd Place:

Wasp’s Helmet (KennedyHawk)

Wasp’s Helmet (Amerikano)

KennedyHawk: The insect duo is complete. I love Wasp’s helmet, the ability to toggle from +1 ATK to +1 THW is amazing. Nadia continues the excellent theme of storing your helmet somewhere not on your head and then using it mid battle. Very helpful! It stings me to say this but at the time of writing marvelcdb doesn’t have the image for this helmet yet. Major shout-out to hallofheroeslcg.com instead!

Amerikano: I’m glad you didn’t come up with any more insect puns. They really bug me. That being said, this helmet is solid. My favorite use is the +1 THW because who doesn’t want 3 THW besides a Justice player? So basically what I’m saying is that it comes in handy for any of the aspects I prefer pair with her.

4th Place:

Thor’s Helmet (KennedyHawk)

Iron Man’s Helmet (Amerikano)

Amerikano: I think the best sting about this card is that is a 1 cost Tech upgrade. It is usually a pretty automatic play unless I also have Arc Reactor and can’t play them both (for some reason).  Still, a very solid helmet. I wouldn’t expect anything less from a genius, billionaire inventor. 

KennedyHawk: Following the top three is a tough act! Thor’s Helmet gives Thor much of what he already has. Extremely expensive cards, more hit-points, and amazing flowing locks. More seriously the hit point boost is appreciated especially as you’ll be headbutting with a lot of minions and such. Clearly this headgear is very protective – hence Thor is making such a happy face about wearing it.

5th Place:

Captain America’s Helmet (KennedyHawk)

Captain America’s Helmet (Amerikano)

KennedyHawk: Okay – we are getting into the not so great helmets now. Cap’s helmet is so useful I’m going to assume he’s taking it off – not putting it on in the art. Yes – an extra life on a stick is great… until player two draws a treachery to damage each friendly character. Generally, if I’m triggering this ability I’ve either already won the game – or already lost. At least it’s cheap?

Amerikano: Probably the worst card in Cap’s hero kit. But I don’t know if that really tells us much because his kit is pretty amazing. I mean, this one is good for theme? But between Cap’s Shield and Shield Block, I better not be dying!

6th Place:

Bulldozer’s Helmet (KennedyHawk)

Captain Marvel’s Helmet (Amerikano)

Amerikano: What?! Is this even allowed? I need to jump on Discord really fast to ask The Card Text. I’ll won’t even bother putting my thoughts down about my #6 helmet.

KennedyHawk: in perfect Pietro – Bet you didn’t see that coming! 6th place for me falls to this villain’s Helmet. Bulldozer’s helmet hits like a truck – maybe even like a bulldozer. But don’t sleep on this helmet 

Amerikano: Nothing grinds my gears like discarding cards from the top of my deck.

KennedyHawk: I know one card I’d like to discard.

7th Place:

Captain Marvel’s Helmet (KennedyHawk)

(Amerikano)

KennedyHawk: That’s right Carols “signature” headpiece. What a piece of junk, nothing screams “Spend me as a resource!” quite like this card. This helmet is so bad it’s the only hero gear not shown in the bottom corner images. It’s like they want us to forget it exists. +2 DEF to a hero I’ll almost never defend with. If this card text was blank it’d only be moderately worse. 

Amerikano: Haha. Don’t forget, it might only get you +1 DEF. This is garbage. Straight up basura. 

Wait, so what you’re saying is that the only upside to this headgear is that Yellowjacket’s Tech Theft scheme isn’t horrible against it? Barf. 

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KennedyHawk:  Well there you have it! Our first of many Saturday Superhero Satire. What’s your favorite heroic headgear? When do you think we’ll get our next helmet? Check back next week when we rank/debate/pull-punches-on another ridiculous Marvel Champions topic.

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